Those strange Gujjus.....

Gujju :
Slang for a person from the state of Gujarat in India. Known to be stingy, but are some of the best businessmen/women, always get the best side of the bargain.

The Simple Gujju test:
Are you guju?

Whoa, you spent only $50 dollars for that authentic Michael Jordan Jersey...damn thats gujju!

Alternative definition:
a miser who will starve to save money

He ate fresh air so he could buy a house


The Gujjus.... ppl belonging to a relatively small Indian state of Gujarat who nevertheless seem to have taken upon their not inconsiderable shoulders the onus of spreading their bloodline everywhere.

Today, Gujjus are found in every nook and corner of this world. I suspect that when Antarctica and the Artic circle do thaw out , we will find the bones of some Gujju entrepreneur who had gone there to sell the locals some Dhoklas and Ghagra -Cholis.

The Gujju lifestyle and behaviour is very akin to that of the African wild bees.. that is occupy and conquer.

Being a mumbaite myself, I can vouch for the fact that Gujjus are the masters of covert non violent guerilla warfare. You so much as turn your head away, the next instant some gujju and his flock would have descended upon the unsuspecting neighbourhood to open a " Patel Kirana shop ".This, of course , is the famed gujju entrepreneurial spirit.

After conquering Dalal street and the Badlands of Borivli, the gujjus now seem to have set their eyes on the heretofore south indian strongland of Matunga.

As I mentioned, gujjus exhibit flocking behaviour very similar to that of bees and also seem to have developed some kind of pheromone system. It is said that a gujju can detect the presence of another gujju from 10 km afar. Many animal species would be jealous of that kind of sophisticated detection system.

Like bees, gujjus also tend to flock together to the virtual exclusivity of any other community. And their loyalty to ther mothertongue is legendry. Evven a 4th or 5th generation russian born Gujju will speak fluent gujurati(though his russian and english may be highly suspect).

If u thought that a south Indian wedding was elaborate and tedious think again.Gujjus again take the cake.Firstly, it is really difficult to figure out who the bride is bcoz every woman in the room is decked in heavy zardozi sarees with matching mehndi and and layers of make-up.
Secondly, all the brides maids have their hair either ironed poker straight or curled and look as if they have stepped right out of Ekta Kapoor's movie set. However the whole affair is hugely entertaining,wat with the garbas and dhoklas.

Dont get me wrong, every community has its idiosyncrasies , its just that my multitudes of gujju friends have enabled me to keenly observe theirs.

So Jai Shri Krishna.. and some more gujju jokes to boot ..hehe...


Another example of gujju ingeniousnes.....


Mr.Mehta's connections...

Mehta was bragging to his boss one day,” You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

“Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Mehta how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Mehta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Mehta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Mehta’s boss is still sceptical.

After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Mehta that he thinks Mehta’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone else,” Mehta says.”President Clinton,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes,” Mehta says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Mehta on the White House tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Mehta , what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Mehta who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Mehta. “My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So off they fly to Rome. Mehta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Mehta says,” This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope. And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Mehta emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Mehta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Mehta asks him, “what happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Mehta?”

Gujju Parent Complaining: Maro dikro States maa gayo...
Interpretation: His Kid failed in Statistics.

Hilarious gujju hiphop:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8299383145536326053&hl=undefined